Tag Archive for 'irony'

Pizza Time!

There are lots of ways to measure how “civilized” a particular country is. None of these methods are definitive, but when grouped together they give us a general idea of where are the nice places to live, and where are the places to be emigrated from with all possible haste. How a society treat its prisoners. How they treat their dead. How they treat the marginalized and less fortunate.

Gross domestic product.

Mean income.

Strength of currency.

Literacy rates.

Cultural exports.

After spending three months in Japan, I am inclined to also say that the widespread availability of pizza delivery is also an important factor to consider when evaluating a country’s quality of life.

I mean, sure, in many ways America is like a Third-World country with delusions of grandeur, what with its medieval healthcare system, its broke-ass public schools, and the rampant baseness of its national character, but in almost every city and town in the Land of the Free there is at least one establishment you can call to have delicious—or at least moderately tasty—pizza delivered to your home or office or arbitrarily designated dropoff point on a street corner or someplace like in the first “Ninja Turtles” movie. In Japan this service—and indeed, real pizza in general—is not available outside of major cities.

Now, I’m not saying that a country has to have pizza delivery in order to be civilized, or that pizza delivery automatically categorizes a society as somehow more evolved. All I’m saying is that pizza delivery certainly strengthens the case.